I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
