Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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