I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
