I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
