singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
