Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
