Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
