I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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