So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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