Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
