Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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