I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
