Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
