You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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