hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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