why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
