apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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