nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
