Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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