I just made out with a guy for $7.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
