Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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