Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Shame is for Republicans.
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