Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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