That's intense
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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