you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
