dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
