He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
