I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
