PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I stole a fireplace last night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
