just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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