It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
