Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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