This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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