from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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