You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
