How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
