Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
