and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
