so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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