2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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