I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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