ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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