only if we run a train.
done.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
