I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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