So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
