I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you didnt know i had herpes?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
