Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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