bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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