sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I died a long time ago.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
