rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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