Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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