meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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