can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
