I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
