so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
