i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize