So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
