he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
