Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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