We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize