I love black thongs
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
