honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
