you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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